In 2016, America has hit a new low. Like a VERY new low…. in running participation. With only 2% of the population regularly getting out for a run. To combat this utterly made up statistic, Human Movement is proud to endorse our newest event, Make America Jog Again. It’s gonna be Huuuuuuge!
Complete with an obstacle wall to scale over, after you build it yourself of course, shards of tanning bed bulbs to dodge and 2 or 3 marriages to dip in and out of throughout 3.1 miles. Make America Jog Again is sure to be the front-running 5K of the year, to the surprise of us all. To keep participants encouraged, Human Movement staff will roam the course while shouting insults and remarks that are most likely unfounded and just make for good TV.
Upon finishing, participants receive comb-overs and medals with the words “I Voted, But Shouldn’t Have” etched into the Chinese made steel. This 5K season, do the right thing. A registration for Make America Jog Again, is a registration for America.
